The Virgin Myth
As a member of the Christian community I'm exposed to a lot of the sexual purity rhetoric. "Don't have sex before you're married." "Porn is bad." "Your virginity is a gift you can only give once." And on and on. Let me say before you shoot me that I'm not saying these sayings are necessarily bad (okay, maybe the last one, but I'll get to that later). Sexual purity is most definitely a good thing and I strive--and fail almost daily--to keep myself as pure as possible. "Without a hint" right? That's the goal. And because of this, the Christian community at large has advocated abstinence-only sex education and organized rallies crying out to youth to take abstinence pledges so they remain virgins until their wedding night. Sounds good, doesn't it?
Except for all this rhetoric about virginity isn't based on Jesus' teachings.
Bang. Shocker, right? Let me explain.
First and foremost, virginity as it's discussed today is a purely man-made idea. The current discussion of virginity makes no mention of redemption. All of the talk about virginity says it's one shot deal and you're done for the rest of your life. Jesus doesn't deal with us in that way. If He did we'd all have a one-way ticket straight to hell. But Christ forgives. Christ heals. Christ washes sin away. And us talking about virginity outside of the mindset of Grace causes more hurt to those who "are no longer virgins" than it does to help protect from hurt.
That said, let's look at Matthew 5:28, shall we? But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I think we as a community of believers are really reluctant to embrace the full scope of that passage. Every single time we lust, we have sex. Jesus made no distinction between lust and sex. He also made no distinction between anger and murder. He showed us the seriousness of our thoughts. Not only do they lead to action, they are on the same par as action. So. . .in reality, none of us--not a single one of us--is a virgin on our wedding night.
But that's not the end of the discussion, either. Because, as I said earlier, Christ washes sin away. We have to talk about this in regards to His grace. Virginity is a gift gained and lost every year, every month, down to every day and every hour in a lot of cases. Due to how Christ forgives us and washes us of sin we are able to redeem ourselves from our sexual indiscretions.
None are virgins. But through Jesus we can gain that back if we only ask. That's just how it is. Amazingly beautiful and simple, isn't it? That's how He works. We would do well to remember it.
Disclaimer: I'm not trying to imply that we should go out and have all the earthly sex we want before we're married. I'm just trying to bring the focus onto how destitute we really are and how forgiving He truly is.
As a member of the Christian community I'm exposed to a lot of the sexual purity rhetoric. "Don't have sex before you're married." "Porn is bad." "Your virginity is a gift you can only give once." And on and on. Let me say before you shoot me that I'm not saying these sayings are necessarily bad (okay, maybe the last one, but I'll get to that later). Sexual purity is most definitely a good thing and I strive--and fail almost daily--to keep myself as pure as possible. "Without a hint" right? That's the goal. And because of this, the Christian community at large has advocated abstinence-only sex education and organized rallies crying out to youth to take abstinence pledges so they remain virgins until their wedding night. Sounds good, doesn't it?
Except for all this rhetoric about virginity isn't based on Jesus' teachings.
Bang. Shocker, right? Let me explain.
First and foremost, virginity as it's discussed today is a purely man-made idea. The current discussion of virginity makes no mention of redemption. All of the talk about virginity says it's one shot deal and you're done for the rest of your life. Jesus doesn't deal with us in that way. If He did we'd all have a one-way ticket straight to hell. But Christ forgives. Christ heals. Christ washes sin away. And us talking about virginity outside of the mindset of Grace causes more hurt to those who "are no longer virgins" than it does to help protect from hurt.
That said, let's look at Matthew 5:28, shall we? But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I think we as a community of believers are really reluctant to embrace the full scope of that passage. Every single time we lust, we have sex. Jesus made no distinction between lust and sex. He also made no distinction between anger and murder. He showed us the seriousness of our thoughts. Not only do they lead to action, they are on the same par as action. So. . .in reality, none of us--not a single one of us--is a virgin on our wedding night.
But that's not the end of the discussion, either. Because, as I said earlier, Christ washes sin away. We have to talk about this in regards to His grace. Virginity is a gift gained and lost every year, every month, down to every day and every hour in a lot of cases. Due to how Christ forgives us and washes us of sin we are able to redeem ourselves from our sexual indiscretions.
None are virgins. But through Jesus we can gain that back if we only ask. That's just how it is. Amazingly beautiful and simple, isn't it? That's how He works. We would do well to remember it.
Disclaimer: I'm not trying to imply that we should go out and have all the earthly sex we want before we're married. I'm just trying to bring the focus onto how destitute we really are and how forgiving He truly is.
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