Cripes. I'm ready to go to bed right now. Just took two tests, have yet to hand in three papers. Eh. Yesterday, it took me about nine hours of work to get one of my papers done today. But I'm done with it. So that makes me happy. I just hope that I didn't screw it up or anything like that. It was probably the paper with the vaguest directions of my whole college career. Not fun. But still G-d is good. And I am thankful for all He has given me.

This weekend was fun. I got to go to Sioux Falls and spend some time with my lovely girlfriend. We went out to Spearfish along with her mom because Danielle had a sewing contest out there. She took first. She's going to nationals. She's kind of talented. On our way back, we stopped at Mt. Rushmore since she'd never been there before. Our trip there also taught me that my beautiful and intelligent girlfriend doesn't know the difference between a gopher and a buffalo. It's true. There's more of a story there. . .but I can't do it justice. Needless to say, I had a good time. I look forward to a day when I don't have to leave after only a weekend of being with her.

On another note, I'm saddened by this society's view on men. Not even the view that all guys are horny, beer-drinking sports addicts. The notion that men don't have to own up to their actions annoys me the most. Somehow men have become seen as inept creatures in a complete loss of control over their own actions. And I think a lot of men today embrace this idea. If we do something that upsets our significant others, we just say we're only men and they should expect nothing less than for us to screw up instead of owning up to our actions, asking what we did wrong, and how we can do better in the future. We also are apparently not responsible for our own purity either. The burden of keeping men pure has been placed on women. They need to dress appropriately so as to not set us off and make us stumble. Men have apparently lost all sense of self-control. Once again, guys, own up to your actions. Realize there may be a two-way street, but that certain women will always dress provocatively and the only thing you'll ever be able to control is your reaction to that image. Along those same lines, it absolutely sickens me that we blame women for being sexually assaulted. Just this week another article appeared in our campus' newspaper of how another woman on our campus encountered a man who tried to rob and sexually assault her. And society seems to say, "Oh, she should have been more careful." "If she hadn't dressed that way, he wouldn't have done that." "She shouldn't have pushed him so far physically." The list goes on.

And I cry bullshit.

It's time for men to once again be men. It's time for us to own up to what we do and rest on G-d's strength. True, we will never be perfect and we will fail. It's human nature, I suppose. But if we hope to improve this world we have to act justly, man up, and truly walk in the way that Jesus would have us. A real man realizes these things. I'm still not sure if I'm a real man. . .but as my good brother Bradley Hathaway said, I may not be there yet, but I'm past the start.

And maybe one day I'll be able to look back upon my life from a distance and say that I am a manly man.

Damn it, I'm tired. I never thought that I would put myself into this situation. I actually have too much stuff going on and I am ever so slowly burning out.

Mondays - Work from 8-5
Tuesdays - Do stuff in the morning, class from 9:30-4:45 with no break, radio show from 5-7
Wednesdays - Work from 8-5, homework in the off time, officers meeting for the radio station at 10
Thursdays - Class from 9:30-4:45, crash when I get home or book it to Sioux Falls
Friday - Work from 8-5, come home and crash indefinitely
Saturday and Sunday - Try to recuperate and put off doing homework

I'm tired of this already and it's not even been a month. I'm tired from work. I'm tired from school. I'm too tired to do homework. And when I talk to my girlfriend on the phone at night I'm too tired to carry on a good conversation.

I'm tired of the fact that I don't get to see her as often as I'd like. I'm tired of us having to carry on a phone-only relationship between trips to see each other.

I'm tired of not having the energy to pursue G-d. I'm tired of not being able to break myself from these ruts of sin I find myself trapped in. I'm tired of trying to get back up and never being able to do it.

But I'm thankful.

I'm thankful I have a job that pays me well for something I enjoy doing. I'm thankful I only have a year left of school. I'm thankful I have a wonderful, beautiful, amazing girlfriend who loves me dearly. I'm thankful that, thanks to modern technology, we can talk on the phone every night and not rack up insane charges on a phone bill. I'm thankful that, even though I'm outrageously tired from struggling and can no longer put up a fight, G-d will still love me and offer His hand to pick me up.

And even though I'm tired, it's much better to be thankful.

Well, I am officially resurrecting this page. It's been almost two years since I left for Xanga, and I like the community feel there, so I don't think I'm leaving. However, I realize that some people don't like Xanga so I figured I'd let this be a mirror of that site. I'll try to keep this updated right alongside my Xanga.

Here's a response to an article I wrote for my college's newspaper last week and my reply to it. . .

"The author wrote that, 'War kills our fellow human beings, plain and simple.' I encourage him to find a Holocaust survivor and ask him/her whether World War II should've been cancelled because a few thousand Jews weren't worth the effort. Your freedom wasn't free, though I seriously doubt you've earned it. Jesus died so you could go to heaven; but soldiers, sailors, Marines and patriots have died so you could enjoy your time on Earth. If you appreciate that fact, thank a vet. If not, move to Canada."

To which the Jake responded:

"You raised a very valid criticism of the opinion I voiced in my article in The Spectrum. Thank you. Unfortunately, there's a word limit that must be taken into account with opinion articles and the issue I addressed is so big that there's no possible way to adequately address the issue in a newspaper.

Let me say that I was not in favor of keeping Saddam in power in Iraq. But I was against the war. I definitely would not be in favor of keeping Hitler in power. But I would most certainly be against the war. When it comes down to it, as a Christian, I have to look at Jesus and how He lived to best decide what course of action should be taken. Jesus tried to teach us that violence isn't going to solve anything ("If you're angry with your brother, it's like killing him." Matthew 5:21-22) and that to overcome the violent actions of others we must love with an outrageous and uncompromising love. Turn the other cheek. Bless those who curse you. Love your enemies. These thoughts do not suggest pacifism. They promote a very real and tangible action of reckless love. I think what Jesus was trying to say through these things was if you hate those who hate you, hate will never end, only escalate. In order to stop hate, we must love.

So what about the Holocaust? What should have been done then? I'm not going to say that I have an answer. But I do firmly believe that Jesus would not have been in the trenches with a gun shooting Nazis. War's the easy way out. It's ridiculously hard to love in the way that Jesus demands of us. But if we put our collective minds together I'm sure that through love we can find better resolutions to conflict than killing each other.

And I respect your right to disagree and I thank you for voicing your opinion. It's one of the things that truly makes this country great. So I don't think I'll be moving to Canada any time soon."

So what do you think?